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Sunday, 10 May 2009

Happy Mother's Day!

=)

So later today I will be going back to school. Going to do my summer thing again. This time it's Biochem. And I totally plan on Ace-ing this class, or at least B+. Here it goes.

I'm soo happy because everyone will be here in the summer. I also have a summer job at Admissions, so I will be busy.

I'm having a hard time finding a job for the rest of the summer tho =(. Anyone give me a hand? I've pulled almost every string possible. I'm going to need a cover page, then just mass send my resume to every CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid, Wegmens, Target, etc.

Dear God, help me =(

until then. goodnight everyone. be good to your mommy today =)

Monday, 04 May 2009

Bunch of Nonsense

Haha Joy I stole this from your FB. I was bored.

When your being kissed do you like it when they hold your face?
it's been awhile actually.

Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person?
most likely to one of the girls.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
butthead.

Ever been in trouble with the cops?
haha mayb?

Has anyone ever sang to you?
fortunately, lots of people. some good some bad =P

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you?
heck yea

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
dont think so i was kissing him goodbye =(

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
yes ma'am almost our 1 year then.

Do you and your last ex hate each other?
if you only knew how much.

Are you happy with the way things are going?
yes yes. i've hit my lowest point, i can only go up now.

Are you one of those people who are always cold?
YES. thankfully, my sig other is always hot.

Ever felt like you're not good enough?
all the time.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
yesh

Last thing that made you cry?
i've got issues. =P

Honestly, whats on your mind?
if i should get out of bed and help my mom around the house

Honestly, have you done something bad today?
not getting out of bed yet

Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now?
i havent gone to church in the longest time. which really makes me sad.

Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
hahaha. we laugh about it now.

Ever really cried your heart out?
doesnt everyone?

Are you usually a happy person?
yes m'am

What makes you the happiest?
kdramas. relaxing. family. spencer.

Does your last ex have a job?
not that i know of. he always sucked at keeping them.

Do you like to cuddle?
always.

Is a best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend pissing you off at the moment?
no

Do you think you're a good person?
i try to be a good person to everyone.

In the past five days, what would you go back and change?
me actually cleaning my room.

Last person to call you beautiful?
hahaha jack. sad it wasnt even my boyfriend. wait i stand corrected. spencer.

Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
hahahahahah yes. i was quite shocked that he even kissed me.

Are you ticklish?
if i tell you. id have to kill you.

Are you a jealous person?
depends on who. sometimes unfortunately.

Have you ever given up on someone but then went back to them?
yes and no.

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life?
never satisfied, always strive to do better

Do you always answer your phone?
most of the time, unless its on silent ><

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
yea. drank water, then went back to sleep.

If you were in the hospital on life support, would the last person you kissed come to see you?
better. or id haunt his sorry butt.

Are you currently frustrated with anyone or anything?
frustrated at myself knowing i can do better in life.

Have you ever been called Prince/Princess?
haha no and i would not want to be. too corny. be more original. =P

When was the last time you slept at someone else's house?
friday night? slept at khai's bed after the party.

Are you a bad influence?
most likely =P i wouldnt follow my footsteps.

When was the last time you went shopping?
all of last week. FINALLY!!

Besides this, what are you doing right now?
lying in bed.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
thinking about it...don't like permanent marks on my body though, has to be meaningful

Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
perv! with.

What do you normally do when you've had a really bad day?
sleep.

Is there someone you wish you could be spending your time with right now?
spencer adam lew.

Are you currently wearing any perfume or cologne?
nope

Have you ever seen the last person you texted naked?
what the hells? no. i swear ur a perv.

Will tomorrow be better than today?
hope so.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
yes yes yes.

So how are you?
lazy

What happened at 9:00 am today?
i was sleeping.

ARE YOU: Wearing something you borrowed from someone?
nope

WHAT: Is the last thing someone bought you?
my boyfriend tried to buy me a pair of shoes.

WHAT'S: Your current problem?
i left my room a mess in PA.

SOMETHING: You say when you are shocked?
what the hellz?!

DO YOU: Delete people off of myspace?
mayb facebook.

WHO WAS: The last person you talked to last night before bed?
spencer

WHEN: Was the last time you laughed?
yesternight. i was reading spence FML stories. we both cracked up.

What was the last thing you said out loud?
okay mom im getting out of bed now. (that was about 30 mins ago)

Are you afraid of the dark?
yes. thats why i make my bf sleepover all the time. that and we watch scarymovies all the time.

Ever turned something down you shouldn't have?
i dont get this question?

Do you like messages or comments better?
both. leaning more on comments.

In the past week have you felt sad?
yes. i have my moments.

How do you know the last person you were in a car with?
my daddy.

Where were you at 10:17 pm last night?
probably watching Penelope downstairs by myself

Who did you last piss off?
most likely spence

Are you happy with your life at the moment?
im happy but i know i can be happier.

What is something you disliked about your day?
i need to drive my mom around shopping and such.

What are you listening to?
birds mating outside (chirping i mean)

Are you sleepy?
i do need a nap.

What did you do today?
woke up round 1230. ate. listen to mamma mia soundtrack.

Anything hurting you now?
my neck. i want a massage.

THE END. =P

Monday, 27 April 2009

Random thoughts in my head

There are days
when I feel
The best of me
is ready to begin
Then there's days
when I feel
I'm letting go
and soaring on the wind
'Cause I've learned in laughter or in pain
How to survive!

I get on my knees! I get on my knees!
There I am before the Love
That changes me
See I don't know how
But there's power
When I'm on my knees

On my knees- Jaci Velasquez

So I have one exam left, and I'm quite excited to end my third year. Even though next year isn't really much to look forward to, still feels nice to end an academic year. I have decided to stay over the summer again to take Biochemistry. It's going to suck, but whatever. I have already made plans to change my attitude towards my school.

I attended a LSS (Life in the Spirit Seminar) with my parents and brother this weekend. Dave and I were both part of the music ministry. There were a few kinks in me being a part of that group. I'm considered a diva from my dad. LoL. I don't like sharing the mic or stage with people. Especially with people that cannot really sing. Most of them could, just a few certain people bothered me so much. But I'm not going to get into that. I really did enjoy myself. It's been so long since I went to an LSS. I used to be so much more involved these types of events. So much closer to Him. I will get back to that stage though. I have so much to thank Him for.

There was so much I wanted to write in here before. Now I forget what I wanted to type.

I feel less accomplished than the people around me. Actually Sally is the only person that does not make me feel that way. She actually helps to encourage me to do better. I think this is only because she knows what I've really gone through and how she went through it also. But the thing is that she got out of this school. I'm so glad to hear that she is much happier at Temple. I miss her being around though. I really appreciate the times when she comes over and we actually get to talk, just the two of us. Don't get me wrong we always enjoy being with all the girls, but I like talking to her and being able to be myself, and talk about my failures without being judged. Everyone else is so driven, but I feel like I just started to want to achieve my goals in life. Everyone already has their own path that they are striving for. Oh well, I guess better late than never.

Ahh I recall another topic I wanted to write about. Am I pushing things to fast with Spence? I feel so over experienced. =( He is such a sweetheart though. Always trying to please me and being the best boyfriend. He is always mentioning being with me in the future and it really makes me happy that he can picture us that far ahead in life. I don't ever want to get my hopes up too high, but it is a nice feeling. It's just the feeling of having so many boyfriends before him, and I don't want him to feel like I'm so "used". Eh I feel so grossed out by it even. I hope that he can somehow erase this feeling.

Sometimes I say really stoopid things. Things that I shouldn't say out loud so easily. I'm sure my friends get so mad at me because of it. I'm really a confrontational person if I want to be. I guess I get that from my parents. You truly grow up to be just like your parents. I got my father;s anger. His worst quality. But I can see now that it can be changed. With love and patience from the family, he was able to change his ways. He isn't so angry anymore. Dave and I sense it. He is more loving to my mother and we are truly one big happy family. It's a really nice feeling. And one of the reasons why I miss them so much. To be surrounded by love all the time. At school it's all about stress and drama. I thought that going to a school farther away will be able to start a new life, with new friends. But no drama just keeps coming with me.

Ahh I finally remember what sparked this whole writing in the xanga. I was speaking with a friend. For a good couple of hours. It's actually becoming quite a habit, eating lunch together. Skipping class because we just don't feel like gettin up. And we talked mostly about him. But on Friday, I actually got to open up about me. I remembered all the dramatic memories I had my freshman year of college. He was soo surprised about my history. I hide it well. Only my good friends know my history. We not everyone that knows is a good friend.

We started talking about the guy I used to like my freshman year. No worries, me and him are on good terms now. We actually speak out of PCA =P. It's nice to know that time heals all things. Also a lot of prayers went into forgetting. I didn't realize it was such a suppressed memory. I could have avoided all the pain that I went through this summer if I choose to be with someone else my freshman year. But I never really do regret anything I do, only because I would not be in such a happy position as I am today. Not completely happy, but striving to be happy.

Anyways, like I said, I spilled out my guts to my friend. And it just made me realize that everything can be put in the past. All the past hurts can be erased and are trivial in the next couple of years. I'm glad, because I carry a lot of emotional baggage. Crap that I'm sure I've written in here already, so I shall not keep repeating myself.

I'm still striving to be a person I can be proud of. Someone that I want to be looked up for. I'm still ashamed of my past, but like I keep saying, I intend to change it.

Watch out world, I'm going to change you! =P

Til later, I'll stop venting. And for those who actually read through this. You are awesome. Love you.!! =)

<3 Darryl

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Another rant

I'm sick. =( boo. Spence attempts to help take care of me. But his boyfriends keep getting in the way. Meaning, that I am typing this up at 1:21am waiting for his butt to get home at around 2am. He knows I'm pissed though. He better know. I guess I'll just have to type up my world cultures paper. My head hurts.

Saturday, 04 April 2009

whats with this weirdness

I'm finally home.
It's been one month since I came home to visit, and it's a rather short one. But I did get time to have one-on-one time with my family. =)

I miss them a lot. Today was my brother's Cultural Show. Dang do I miss high school. Today has been the day to reminisce about those good old days. I can't think to much of it I suppose because most of them are now bad memories. I guess they were good memories in a way that I had good friends back then. But I lost a good number of them in the past 3 years. Oh well, I'm moving on in life it seems. I know who my true friends are.

Speaking of reminiscing. There has been something that has been bugging me. A certain someone keeps trying to patch things up in my life. They keep im-ing me randomly, and then texting me? What the hells is going on here?? I thought we had established that we don't want to be a part of each others lives anymore. Well what happened to that? First when I come home from spring break...I get an IM from you asking if one of my friend's had contacted you because they were worried about me? I guess your sources are a bit wack, because my friends have been seeing me at my happiest moments. Also. the 6 AM texts? Which by the way started my day out quite awkwardly. I hate that you try to be the good guy here. I can understand that we had our arguments in the past, and now it's in the past. Deal with it. I don't ever want to see your face. Because everytime I do I want to punch it. I want to have the courage to forgive you for hurting me. But that isn't as easy as I thought it was. I have decided to forgive you and forget you. So get off my back about being friends please!

ahh thats all i wanted to vent about as of now i suppose.
Spence is hanging out with his boys and im extra jealous. I haven't had him for all to myself for a couple of days and im getting cranky. =(

we plan on going to fairmont park for the cherry blossom fest on sunday as well as the art museum. so i hope that it will all be better.

we celebrated our 6 months on April 1st. and yes he didn't spend time with me then either =(

boo MINUS 100000 POINTS.

<3 Darryl